Lost at Sea
Listen to the Body,
For the mind deceives and intellect justifies.
My stomach churns and heart aches,
Deep despair – locked inside.
Holding the key the whole time,
Paralyzed to act as fear seeps out each pore.
The Wolf snarls,
A small child steals back to her dark corner.
Invisible chain gleaming under artificial lights,
Being bound feels safer in strange way.
For I have been supported and treated well.
Contradictions mount.
Writing is on the wall of this beautiful cell,
Yet I have chosen not to look.
Shame is too close to try on,
It might stick.
Omission is no longer excusable,
Willing participant am I.
Steering the ship with passengers onboard,
Veering towards a port I wish not to go.
Will I turn the vessel around before it is too late?
I have been here before – 20 years ago,
Twas a young girl and marriage.
Broke her heart, then she broke mine,
Throat closing in a fading blue.
Ripping off the bandage,
Allowing the blood to freely flow.
Being honest and moving forward,
Acting in integrity and power.
Know that Spirit leads,
Release the blocks within.
None know our fates,
We can only play our current role.
In this moment I taste my redemption,
I feel my freedom.
Musculature unlocks,
Been holding on so tightly.
Twas never mine to carry.
Finding ourselves here again,
This next move changes everything.
Trajectories of our lives shall forever shift,
Plinko ball moves laterally
Towards an unknown future,
One we could never know,
Had we stayed.
We depart now,
Traveling to new territories and unexplored lands.
May the winds guide us home,
For that is all we ever truly wanted – to go Home.
Magic
Has followed my whole live
Only when I blocked did it stay away
Always behind the curtain waiting to be seen.
Peekaboo – Be still and Reveal
What has always been present
Yet I was too busy to see.
Now that I know you are real
Please hide not from me again
My soul can only take the separation
For so long before I start to tear away at the edges.
Unknown
God show me a sign,
Anything will do.
Great Spirit you are heard,
I shall follow through.
Fearful each time,
Another death of the self.
Standing upon the precipice again,
Taking the leap of faith.
The moment has come.
Softly treading into the unknown.
Self-Care
That elusive thing
Transformative gift to oneself
That we seldom give.
Instead, I harbor in darkness
Resentment wells up inside
Choking out life’s beauty.
All it takes is a flip of the switch
A bike ride through the forest
Sleeping in a tent under the stars.
Heaven and hell reside within
Both waiting for us to come visit
Which place shall my mind inhabit?
Pleasure and pain are siblings
Carved from the same great tree of life
Which branch shall I climb today?
Perpetual Patterns
Control I seek
Attempting to calm my anxiety
Lack of faith exposed
Frightened to be held.
Microenvironmental manipulation
False illusions of power
A larger world awaits
Just beyond my clinging.
Holding on to what I know
Afraid of letting go
Floating down the stream of life
Towards unfamiliar lands.
Letting Go
Thank you for serving our family,
Three generations deep maybe more,
You have fiercely guarded over us,
Ensuring our safety and survival.
A new time has descended,
The old ways are no longer necessary.
For myself and my children,
A fledging bird takes flight.
Soaring towards a faint and distant light,
Releasing Control – the bond is broken.
Neuroplasticity waters the newly planted seeds,
Roots deepen and new fruits abound.
The Stream
Cleansing my body in the cool stream,
It washes away dirt and film which have collected on my skin.
How many have bathed here in the sacred waters before?
How many more shall come to wash and drink after I am gone?
Perhaps the latter is fewer should paradigm shifts fail to transpire.
I am part of the problem…
Taking more than I need…
To seal the voids that food, accomplishments, prestige, and wealth can never fill.
Reflections upon “The Stream”:
The only way forward towards a sustainable future is to share more and take less.
It must begin with me. I choose to provide my medical expertise and services at an intentionally reduced cost below fair market value. This is a conscious decision in which my hope is that others regain their health with a newfound sovereignty and pass it on. Together our collective reach is exponentially greater.